Ahhh, I love drafting players and assuming their possession for the purpose of opening many many cans of whoop ass on family and friends.

This year started out as it usually does. My team starts out so good that I have to go to costco to buy a case of cans of whoop ass. Except, that was just in the family league. I do a money league with my dad and his friends and so far, my team sucks. In the first week, my family league team, the Abominable Abdominals, scored 43 points in a touchdown only league. For those of you who don’t know fantasy football, 43 points in a td-only league is pretty damn good. First week in the money league, The Wieners (my logo is a dancing hot dog), scored 15 points and I lost. Second week, the Abominable Abdominals KICK ASS again with 43 more points. Can I get a HELL YEAH! HELL YEAH, the Wieners get lucky and score a whopping 25 points. [insert embarrassing victory dance here] 3rd week, The Abs get only 9 points scored on. Easy win, right? NO what the fuck? No one on my team scored except my kicker who got 7 points. No one on my bench scored except for my kicker, and guess how many points he got? 7. I continued my losing ways with another Wieners loss. God my money league team blows! Alright, time for my family league team to step up again. Oh hell no. 6 fucking points. Wieners to the rescue? Nope. Losing with a season high 33 points, I punch something. Next week, led by the Seahawks Defense and Kellen Winslow, yes the tight end, the two lowest scoring positions in all of fantasy football, both scored 12 points en route to scoring 44 points and opening a fresh can of whoop ass. That excitement quickly subsided because the Wieners got boned again.

This really shows that I know absolutely nothing about fantasy football. As much as I know about football (a lot) I can’t pick players for the life of me. If anyone wants to join/start a ddo fantasy football league, I’d be glad to kick your ass.