First of all, I found Spider-man 3 to be a huge disappointment. I was bored senseless when I saw it last the summer. However, I did find it quite entertaining by afterwards analyzing it as an allegory on the dangers of sexual experimentation.

Let’s face it: the “black suit” storyline offers a conservative view on Peter Parker’s struggle against his own homosexuality. Even the tagline, “The battle within”, refers sexual confusion.

Not convinced yet? Here are some examples:

Peter Parker is taken over by the black suit as he dreams of his uncle Ben getting shot by Flint Marko. The unconscious connection between sexual deviance and death is obvious, especially here, as an all male penetration with a phallic instrument causes death.

The black suit is more stylish, thus referring to the stereotypically fashionable homosexual. Even Peter Parker’s “civilian” clothes become more stylish and he develops a need to compulsively pout and gyrate his hips. He even plays the piano and dances passionately. A stereotype of a dancing and musically gifted homosexual is presented.

As the black suit has a hold on Peter, he loses his interest towards the love of his life, Mary-Jane. Peter becomes more casual and cool with women as, one could argue, he no longer finds them attractive. There’s no reason to be nervous in somebody’s company, unless you find her attractive. Women are no longer goals in Peter’s life, they are just means to an end. Peter can casually flirt in order to hurt somebody or just to get a table at crowded bar.

The two most blatant examples have to do with Peter storaging the suit and trying to get rid of the suit. Unlike his regular suit, which he stores under his bed, he stores the black suit in the CLOSET. Peter finally succeeds to rid himself of the suit, by visiting a CHURCH. I’m not even going to explain those two. Well, I’ll explain them anyway. Apparently, homosexuality is something to be ashamed of and God hates gays.

Moments later, the misé-en-shot shows that a heterosexual Spider-man is now free to stand straight in front of his nation’s flag.

But wait, there’s more!

Eddie Brock, the new host for the black suit, catches the suit as if it was a disease. When Brock is unwilling to give the suit up, he dies. The film has now declared homosexuality to be both contagious and lethal.

WTF? Hasn’t anybody else noticed these things . . .